reading time: 3 minutes
Have you ever felt like being bad to yourself?
There are times where no one can touch you and, sometimes, that is because you simply don’t feel their touch: you are too much into yourself, in a positive way.
Before I go deeper into “Vengeance” song analysis, I must admit that music to me is a cure, the sweetest one.
It drives me to places where I can better learn about myself, my way to approach existence and all the surrounding world.
The Enemy as the Prey
When I first put down the earliest words to the song, I suddenly realised I had changed. “I can’t blame you the way I was used.” these simple phrase put me years ahead compared to the time this feeling actually came from. In that time (years before the writing), I was feeling my darkest side as the enemy, while then – after writing that first verse – I was approaching it as the prey. I recall it being such a great moment!
Most times the process could go for you something like this:
- You track the problem and face it
- Outline its points of strength and weakness
- Elaborate a strategy to solve it
- Solve it / Do not solve it
- Make the battle final analysis
I just can’t go this way, I am no planner, well I’m no planner to my own feelings. Times I encounter problems, I just go with the flow and try to take all of them to the door, out of my home.
[Just to clarify: “going with the flow” , in this case and to me, means the “outside flow”, the outer problems.]
Realising I Won just Weeks After Making It
It is not a simple thing to battle with your own self. In fact, people all around the world has been building their professional success by yelling out loud “DO NOT FIGHT YOUR OWN EMOTIONS!”.
In fact, it is not about fighting emotions, it is more about fighting your will to let go on yourself.
I will never ever get tired in affirming that one should not fear his own feelings, never.
Why is that? Because they are the most important bricks which establish your personality.
I just love the tension that often takes place here inside and I just can’t take it not to fight. It makes me feel useful to myself (at least more than watching series on Netflix). Plus I have been “in the business” of modelling myself for a long time now, and I got good at that: I really can see the difference now.
Moreover, I do feel better now, so it seems to me it works, at least the way I do it, and do it TO ME(!)
Dark Side VS Bright Side
We all have both [PERIOD].
I made a 1 minute video where I explain how this duality of ours inspired “Vengeance” song. You can watch it here.
“Know your Enemy” (a.k.a. know yourself)
As many of us did, I’ve read “The Art of War” by Sun-Tzu.
While this post is about a peculiar case, you really need to know yourself, you should really feel the urgency to it.
You already know that the world just does not spin around you, that you must be polite and care for the others, like always having time for others. That said knowing yourself is vital if you wish to become a better person, which I do wish.
This is the reason why “Self”, as for many of us, is the actual first enemy to me.
How to Be Better?
- Watch yourself
- Listen to yourself
- See how the others perceive you, understand it
- Look deeper into your limits
- Just don’t turn your head nor close your eyes onto something deep inside of you which scares the hell out of you
- Don’t think “I’m done” just by forgetting or locking bad feelings or memories away
- Face yourself
- Be that nasty or bad or sordid just for the time needed in understanding and fighting what is bothering you, there inside
- Don’t be too harsh to yourself
- Don’t be too tender with yourself
Or find whatever “to-do list” that better suits your needs (but be headstrong and honest to yourself).
Whoever you may be now, in a future or in your dreams, whatever may scare you about going deeper into your muddy waters, is it that hard for you to try to be better by “being the enemy”, your own one?